In coaching we often talk about “owning your greatness” but where does that become arrogance? It is a value to be humble, but where does that interfere with being confident?
I have had several calls about this subject lately. And often when something keeps showing up in coaching calls, it is time to ask if this is something that is a theme for you as a coach as well. So I have been thinking about this for myself too. And when I talk about this issue, that fantastic quote of Marianne Williamson comes to mind:
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
And, while I am not a believer in the God she refers to, I think she really describes this space of owning our own greatness not for the ego boost or public acclaim, but because we short change ourselves and the world if we do not put forth our best and claim our capabilities. So, here are some questions for you:
- Where are you being arrogant? And when you are being arrogant, what does that feel like your body? Is there tension or a sour taste in your mouth? Notice what you feel in your body when you are being arrogant.
- Where are you being your greatest? And when you are being your greatest, what does that feel like your body? Is there lightness or grounding? Notice what you feel in your body when you are being your greatest.
- When are you being humble? And what does that feel like in your body? Do your eyes look up or down? Notice what you feel in your body when you are being humble.
- Yep, you guessed it. When are you being confident? And what does that feel like in your body? What does your mouth do? Your eyes? Your back? Notice what you feel in your body when you are being confident.
So you have lots of things to pay attention to as you go about your day, so I will give you one thought that unlocks many answers for me. Maybe it will help you. For me, curiosity plays a major role in finding balance among these states of being. Personally, when I am being curious, I can’t be arrogant.
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